The Amazing Tale of Ashbloem and Bono
Beautiful Ashbloem of Boston has many loves: Europe, knitting, poetry, politics, and her cat, Gus. But what she loves most of all is hanging out at J.J. Foley’s, drinking beer and playing darts. On Thursday night, when Ashbloem and her friends came in for some fun, they heard some shocking news: Bono was in the bar on Monday night!
BONO. BAH NO. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? Bono was across the STREET FROM ME on MONDAY NIGHT??? Why weren’t we playing darts Monday night? Why? WHY???? Seeing as how we are over there twice a week anyway, would it have KILLED Jerry [the owner] to give us a ring?
Ashbloem tried to drown her sorrows in her beer. BONO — one of her biggest idols. She loved his music. And even their politics were the same. And to make things even worse, Ashbloem could only imagine the amazing blog post she could have written about meeting Bono in her favorite watering hole. Think how jealous her blogger friends would be!
But wait? Isn’t this the internet? Isn’t this the place where no one really knows if you are a man, woman, dog, or person who met Bono? Why not just write a post titled, “This is the post I would have written last Tuesday had we played darts at JJ Foley’s on MONDAY instead of THURSDAY.” Just add some clumsy Photoshop effects and before you know it, you’ve got some doctored photos of you, your friends, and Bono together!
Works for me. I especially enjoyed what happened after the celebrity encounter:
We were so excited by our encounter with celebrity at our local pub that we didn’t want to go home. We all went over to Ann & Dab’s and had a pillow fight in our sexiest lingerie and screamed Bono’s name over and over.
I would have read this post even without Bono.
This entry was posted by Courtney Gidts on Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Underrated. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
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on December 13, 2005 at 4:34 pm bettyonthebeach wrote:
Can anyone identify the glaringly obvious, prevalent theme in Neil’s last few posts…’The Hot Librarian’,'Ashbloem & Bono’ and ‘Sex and the Male Blogger’…?
on December 13, 2005 at 10:56 pm Neil wrote:
Photoshop is cool.